The manic defence. This is the dynamic I have observed most people to be struggling with throughout this pandemic, or rather the potential collapse of the manic defence.

The manic defence is a common psychological defence that many sub-consciously and in some cases consciously act out when faced with uncomfortable thoughts or feelings. This is done to distract the conscious mind through a burst of activity or consistent busy-ness in an effort to produce the opposite thoughts or feelings. However, important processes are avoided or skipped over..

The simple yet sometimes painful task of simply sitting with what is. Ouch.

A few examples: the over-achiever, the workaholic, the shopaholic, the perfectionist, the alcoholic, the good charitable helper, the serial monogamist.

After the panic shopping (which the manic defence so eagerly helped you to do). After the significant, radical and instantaneous major life decisions have been made, cried about and adjusted to.. What I observe most in myself and those around me is the struggle of living a life with more stillness. A slower, more temperate day to day with less measurable "achievements".

For each of us the more intimate and intricate internal struggle will have a different driver. For some, there is the trauma anxiety that won't easily allow you to be still. For others it may be, that when our occupation, productivity and reward has been taken away we may not really know who we are and worse yet, we may not feel self-worth without being productive, receiving income, being helpful or being patted on the back a few times a day. Then there's those of us who spend their time surrounded by other people in a quest to avoid what lies within. Many many more.

So, what are each of us avoiding? To name a few,
Feelings of low self-worth.
Loneliness.
Identity crisis.
Depression.
Anxiety.
Feelings of being forsaken / abandoned.
Feelings of deprivation.

So with all of that said, you can probably now see how unemployment (for some people possibly the first time in their life!), financial ruin, self isolation, sickness, home-schooling and social distancing could potentially be a living nightmare. After all, when was the last time you were mandated to do nothing? How very vulnerable. This is why our homes are being cleaned, culled and organised, our DIY projects are finally getting done, there are no seedlings or seeds left to buy.

I'm not saying not to keep yourself engaged with life with rewarding and satisfying projects. I'm just pointing out, that it's an ideal time to observe what might be driving you...

AND mostly what I'd like to share is that...
It's ok to feel terrified of being alone, "bored", feeling empty, and worried about having nothing "important" to do. It's very normal to feel this way, we've been programmed to be productive but this is an amazing opportunity to just, be.

I promise you, that if you sit with it, cry through it.
It will pass. I promise. Your feelings will pass. This time will pass.

Creativity will be birthed, so much creativity already has!
We can see and make a new way of BEing. Or maybe we'll all just rush back to being in a rush. Ultimately that's up to us.

I miss you & love you all

Lou xx